Leading Through Stress with Presence by Bjorg Egg
This is personal stabilisation protocol you can rely on when stress is already present, not just when you’re reflective.
This is written so you can follow it step‑by‑step, even when thinking is compromised.
Your Personal Stabilisation Protocol (Stress Version)
Purpose:
To prevent inner takeover, slow the system, and restore leadership under stress — without suppressing any part.
This is not for insight.
This is for containment and choice.
WHEN TO USE THIS
Activate this protocol as soon as you notice one of these:
Harsh self‑talk or pressure → critic rising
Urgency, impulsive urges, “do something now” → firefighter rising
Heaviness, shame, withdrawal → exile activated
Or simply: “I don’t feel like myself.”
You don’t wait for a crisis.
You intervene early.
PHASE 1 — INTERRUPT (30–60 seconds)
Goal: Stop automatic escalation.
Name the state Say internally:
“Stress state. A part is active.”
Freeze decisions
“Nothing important gets decided right now.”
This alone often prevents the firefighter from hijacking action.
PHASE 2 — STABILISE THE BODY (1–2 minutes)
Goal: Reduce nervous system arousal before engaging mentally.
Choose one and use it every time:
Feet on the floor, press gently for 10 seconds
Inhale 4, exhale 6 (5 rounds)
Slow walking or stretching
Warmth (hands, drink, water)
Do not analyse while doing this.
This tells your protectors: “Containment exists.”
PHASE 3 — REASSERT LEADERSHIP (20 seconds)
Goal: Restore hierarchy without conflict.
Say (adapt wording if needed):
“I’m here now.
I see the urgency.
Nothing is deciding for me.”
This is not reassurance — it’s authority with calm.
PHASE 4 — ADDRESS THE PROTECTOR IN CHARGE (30–60 seconds)
Ask one question only:
“Which part is driving this right now?”
If it’s the inner critic
Say:
“I hear the concern.
You don’t need to push.
I will review this later.”
If it’s the firefighter
Say:
“I see the urgency.
We are pausing.
I’m staying with this.”
Do not argue. Do not promise perfection. Just signal leadership.
PHASE 5 — CONTAIN THE VULNERABILITY (30 seconds)
You do not open old pain during stress.
Instead, say:
“I know something tender is here.
I’m not ignoring it.
We’ll come back when it’s safe.”
Then return attention to the body or environment.
This prevents flooding and abandonment.
PHASE 6 — CHOOSE THE NEXT SMALL ACTION
Only one question:
“What is the smallest stabilising action I can take right now?”
Examples:
Delay a response
Get water
Step outside
Write one sentence, not the whole thing
Do nothing for 5 minutes
Small actions stabilise systems.
Big actions destabilise them under stress.
THE FULL PROTOCOL (MEMORY VERSION)
If you can’t remember everything, remember this:
Notice →
Slow →
Ground →
Reassert leadership →
Contain →
Choose small action
WHAT SUCCESS LOOKS LIKE
Success is not calm.
Success is:
No impulsive action
Less inner violence
Faster recovery
You remain present
If intensity drops even 10%, the protocol worked.
WHAT TO EXPECT OVER TIME
As you use this consistently:
Protectors escalate less often
The critic becomes advisory, not punitive
The firefighter acts less urgently
Vulnerable signals feel safer to notice
You trust yourself under pressure again
This is how systems stabilise: predictable leadership, repeated calmly.
ONE SENTENCE TO CARRY WITH YOU
When everything else disappears:
“I’m here. Nothing is deciding for me right now.”
That sentence alone restores the centre more often than you’d expect.
What kind of stress hits you most often — urgency, shame, overwhelm, or conflict?
Unity Consciousness 